Excerpted from the Canton Intelligencer:

Area father Myrum Wormwicker expressed disappointment at his son’s lack of enthusiasm towards the classic boardgame Monopoly.

“It’s stunning, really.  He couldn’t have cared less about the game.”

“First off, I make a special trip to Target to pick the d*mn thing up.  Then, I get home, ceremoniously pull it out of the shopping bag and the little hellspawn starts giving me lip about how we could have just downloaded it on his Xbox 360.”

“So, we start setting up the board and he’s going on and on about stupid the shoe, iron and thimble game pieces are.  We hadn’t even started the game when he gave his younger sister a paper cut with the funny money and I’d had enough and sent him off to his room.”

“I know he’s only eight and probably just needed a nap, but I’m pretty sure he’s out of the will.”