A study by the The National Cooperative of Surgeons showed that males, and more specifically uninsured males, were still recklessly using power tools at a staggering rate.   Cooperative spokesman Raymond Buttermaker elaborated.

“Well, we’re pleasantly surprised that there hasn’t been a fall off in catastrophic power tool injuries.  We just sort of assumed that during these economic hard times, with the layoffs and resulting loss of medical insurance, people would be more attentive to their power tool use.  That most certainly hasn’t been the case.”

“People are still trimming their hedges with lawn mowers, lopping their fingers off with circular saws and falling awkwardly out of trees while trying to prune a limb with an electric chainsaw.”

“Some people would refer to it as stupidity, but I refer to it as our good, strong, national character.”

“Keep up the good work, America.”