Excerpted from the Des Moines Unionist:

Area resident Gregorio Wormwicker immediately regretted the wisecrack he made referencing the similarities between the Total Recall character Cuato and his newborn son, Craig.

“Specifically, I regret cracking that joke in front of my wife, Beatrice.  She doesn’t really have a sense of humor anyway, but throw in some catastrophic sleep deprivation and some likely post-partem depression and, man, she nearly snapped my head off.”

When reached for comment, Mrs. Wormwicker mumbled something about her husband being an idiot and slammed the front door.

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