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Mar
07
2009
07
2009
- Greenspan Resorts to Fake Moustache
- Rick Steves Bitterly Heads Off to Europe Again
- Fans Impressed That Manny Ramirez Cared Enough to Take Performance Enhancing Drugs
- Circuit City Receiving Highest Customer Service Marks Ever After Corporate Phone Lines Disconnected
- Dick Cheney's Grandkids Plan To Walk the Line During Two Week Summer Visit
- Despite Show's Conclusion, NBC To Keep Running ER Promos
- In Stark Repudiation of Earth Day, Tom Bodett and Motel 6 Still Leaving the Lights On For You
- Zell Miller Still Really Angry With Chris Matthews
- FreeCreditReport.com Guy Getting Less Tail Than You'd Think
- Brenda Warner's Hair Wins NFL Comeback Player of the Year Award
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The Rabble:
- eHarmony Computer Just Messing With People
- Upon Hearing “150 Years” Public Defender Pats Madoff On Back, Races Out of Courtroom
- Glenn Beck Purposely Avoiding O’Reilly in Fox News Cafeteria
- Informal, Secondary Bank Stress Test Shows Bank Employees Are Extremely Stressed Out
- Apple Releases iOwl
- In Stark Repudiation of Earth Day, Tom Bodett and Motel 6 Still Leaving the Lights On For You
- Dylan Ratigan Parts Amiably with CNBC, Though Suspicious BM Found on Set of Fast Money
- Circuit City Receiving Highest Customer Service Marks Ever After Corporate Phone Lines Disconnected
- Man Who Predicted Dow 70,000 Claims He Was Just Early
- Financial Engineers Behind Wall Street CDO Failures Revealed
- Drive-through Lady Can Tell When It’s James Earl Jones Ordering
- Bear Patrol Latest Casualty of CA Budget Cuts
- Geddy Lee’s Children Just Not That Into Rush
- Area Man Makes Cuato Joke About Newborn Son, Wife Unamused
- Couple Surprised When Shown Neverland Ranch by Realtor
- Bob Dylan’s Voice Described As “Angelic” by Person With Likely Hearing Impairment
- Karl Malden Fans Puzzled by Lack of Continuing Coverage
- Area Biker Unexpectedly Affected by Passing of Michael Jackson
- Bob Barker Leaving Heckling Messages On Drew Carey’s Answering Machine
- McG and Bruckheimer Team Up for Most Extreme Police Academy Movie Yet
- Angela Merkel Yet to Receive Backrub from Obama
- Librarian at George W. Bush Presidential Library Thought She’d Have Met Bush by Now
- Socks the Cat Accidentally Buried in “the Pet Cemetary”
- Liz Cheney and Father Share Awkward High Five After ABC Appearance
- Senators Franken, Sessions, and Graham Getting Along Swimmingly
- Area Man Stuck With Thousands of “Sanford – Ensign 2012″ Shirts
- Al Gore Narrated Audio Books a Godsend for Insomniacs
- Katherine Harris Certifies Iranian Presidential Election
- Todd Palin: “Just Kidding. We Call It A Snowmobile, Too.”
- New York City Outlaws Distracted Walking
- Fans Call for Sacking of Washington Generals GM
- Colts Offensive Line to Peyton Manning: “Shut Up and Hike the Ball”
- Pete Rose Puts Fiver on His MLB Reinstatement
- Rosenfels & Jackson Witnessed Throwing Skittles at Favre During Vikings’ Film Session
- Lebron James & Rest of Cavs Teammates Have Awkward End of Year Banquet
- Birdman Still Flying On His X-Box
- Filly’s Victory at Preakness Stakes Disgusts Area Misogynist
- NFC North Defensive Backs Really, Really, Really Hope Favre Unretires
- Fans Impressed That Manny Ramirez Cared Enough to Take Performance Enhancing Drugs
- NFL Drafts Beginning to Run Together for ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr.
- Area Man Didn’t Really Lose Virginity at Canadian Summer Camp
- Study: Uninsured Males Still Recklessly Using Power Tools to Surgeons’ Delight
- Pamplona, Spain Goring Prompts Local Parents to Ask: Are Our Streets Safe?
- Radio DJ Understands Irony of Playing “Born In the USA” on the 4th of July, Plays Song Anyway
- High School Jazz Band Teacher A Little Too Positive
- Man Riding Subway Pulls T-Shirt Up Over Mouth In Feeble Attempt to Avoid Swine Flu
- Local White Supremacist/Stoner Lone Person to Celebrate Both 420 and Hitler’s Birthday
- Son Not As Impressed By Monopoly As Father Thinks He Should Be
- Wedding Anniversary Ruined By Presence of Husband
- Area Man Disappointed He’s Unable to Purchase Copenhagen Chewing Tobacco in Danish Capital
