Excerpted from the Paris Beacon:

Some, such as retired geography teacher and self-described curmudgeon Mac Wormwicker, were incredulous that the 2009 rally was held in Argentina & Chile.

“What kind of horse-hockey is that?  It’s called the Dakar Rally for jiminy’s sake.  And now they’re going to hold it on another continent?  Outrageous.  They should be forced to change the name.”

When reached for comment one Dakar organizer said, on the condition of anonymity:

“It’s because of Al-Qaeda threats.  Tell those jack-asses that it’s because of terror threats.”