Excerpted from the Berlin Picayune:

One of German Chancellor Merkel’s closest advisers, speaking on the condition of anonymity, confirmed the lack of contact between President Obama’s hands and Merkel’s shoulders.

“It just hasn’t transpired,” the aid lamented, adding, “Obama’s just so into protocol and decorum.”

“Bush on the other hand.  Man, that guy was great.  So spontaneous and off-the-cuff.  You never knew who he was going maul or give a condescending nickname to. ”

“I, we, as I think I can speak for the European community at large, really miss that guy.”