Excerpted from the Des Moines Unionist:

What started as a normal PTA meeting in James Garfield Elementary School turned into a reflective discussion on the safety of greater Des Moines’ streets.

The disclosure of a young man being gored to death by a bull in the streets of Pamplona, Spain lead many parents to wonder aloud how long before similar tragedies were afflicting the youth of Des Moines.

“It’s just a matter of time,” said Sheila Huddingtonford.  “I’ve been saying this for years and no one’s paid any attention.  I’m sorry to say that it’s going take one of our children being gored to death by livestock before any of you take this seriously.”

“Just last week I saw a chicken off the side of the road.  And if a chicken can escape, Lord knows a bull or surly goat isn’t far behind.  Connect the dots, people.”

When asked for comment school district superintendent Packer G. Buttermaker shook his head and declined to comment.