Excerpted from the Canton Intelligencer:

The spokesman for the pornography company explained that it was a natural progression for the industry.

“We give the people what they want and, as this illustrates, there is apparently a market for anything.  Including watching the coitus of barely discernible human beings.”

“In a related matter, we also have a standing offer for any extraterrestrials that may want to become intimate in front of the camera.”

“That would be the next logical progression from here.”

Excerpted from the Los Angeles Informer:

Five minutes after Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar for Best Picture renowned porn producer Claxton Wormwicker stood up from his chair, thrust a finger up to the ceiling, and proclaimed, “I’ve got it.  I’ve got the name for the Slumdog porno parody.”

When pressed to tell the name Wormwicker declined, but added, “It’s going to be even bigger than Saving Ryan’s Privates.”