Excerpted from the Las Vegas Bandit:

Neighbors of Uncle Sam reported that he was hurredly loading his Porsche SUV with suitcases overflowing with greenbacks.  Friend and confident Pecos Bill expressed his concern.

“I know he’s fallen on some hard times here, but it really looks like he’s panicking.  I spoke with him briefly on the phone last night and he went on about how it’s all just a house of cards and that he really needs to catch a break and double up.”

“He then mumbled something about how he was going to pick up Britannia at Dulles and then they were both headed to Vegas’ roulette tables to bet their entire tax bases on black.”

” ‘Always bet on black’ was the last thing he said before hanging up.”